Thursday, April 2, 2009
Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference.
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
[everyone stares at Chandler]
Chandler: ... Did I say that out loud?
[When asked if he knows anything about chicks]
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
Chandler: [entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo] All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
Chandler: [to Joey's father's girlfriend] Come on, I'll show you to my room... Wow, that sounds weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late".
Chandler: [about Eddie] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
Chandler: I can't say hump or screw in front of the b-a-b-y... I just spelled the wrong words didn't I?
Chandler: [To Monica] Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
[Chandler is practicing advertising slogans]
Chandler: Phones: bringing you closer to people... who have phones.
Chandler: Pants: Like shorts... but longer.
Chandler: Well, if I were a guy...
[Everyone stares at him.]
Chandler: Wait. Did I just say "If I were a guy"?