Chandler: [to Ross] You've slept with someone three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.
Chandler: [to Ross] You know if your not careful, you could not get married at all this year.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own peace of mind — you're not married to any more of us, are you?
Ross: We were on a break!
Chandler: Oh, my God! If you say that one more time, I'm going to break up with you!
Chandler: [to Ross] Three failed marriages, two illegitimate children... The personal ad writes itself.
Chandler: [to Ross when he can't decide between Rachel and Julie] Oh, I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"