Joey: [to Ross] Forget about Rachel. Go to China, eat Chinese food.
Chandler: Of course there they'd just call it food.
[While Chandler naps against the wall in his room, Joey is drilling though the wall. As he drills, the drill bit comes though the wall right next to Chandler]
Joey: Oh! Uh, sorry, did I get ya?
Chandler: NO, YOU DIDN'T GET ME!! IT'S AN ELECTRIC DRILL! YOU GET ME, YOU KILL ME!
Joey: [trying to dress up as a 19 year old] "Wassup".. Am I Nineteen or what??
Chandler: Yes Yes.. on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest.. yes you are nineteen...
Chandler: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
[Joey wears a sunglass to avoid getting spit in the face by his costar during a shoot of World War I.]
Chandler: "If I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I"
After Joey finishes that mammoth turkey, Monica says "Joey we are very proud of you".
Chandler: "Yes, we are expecting a call from the President any moment now"
Chandler: [To Joey who's removing his tie] Would you put that back on? Monica's gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurt's my Joey's Apple.
Chandler: [frustrated] Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man.
[Flipping a coin to decide which one out of two babies - one wearing a shirt with ducks and the other having clowns - was Ross's baby. They have to decide which side to assign to the duck and which one to clowns]
Chandler : we have to assign heads to something
Joey: Ok Ok ducks is heads 'cause ducks have heads
Chandler : what kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday ??!!!
[Joey tries to sell the entertaimment center and gets locked and robbed]
Joey: I was tryin’ to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I’m gonna do?
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Joey: Want some jam?
Chandler: No thanks, I just had a jar of mustard.
[Joey has packed an emergency kit with food, Mad-Libs and condoms]
Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind.
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.